Wufei the Girl! Or is it boy?
by The Kawaii Chibis
Summary: DJ: Or is it boy? You decide! I can't tell. To confusing. Yet funny! Enjoy the insanity! YAY, INSANITY!


DJ: Aw, sue me if you want to! I take that back, don't sue me. You won't get anything. Anywhos, I came up with another idea. I'm so evil! ************************************************************  
  
~Day Before; Author POV~  
  
The guys were at McDonald's, only because it was the only thing open. Duo reached into his bag and pulled out whatever it was he touched. "Hey! Since when does McDonald's have fortune cookies?" he asked. Despite his previous words, he tore the cookie open. He threw the paper on Wufei and the crumbs on Trowa. "What does it say?!" he asked himself, repeatedly. Heero snatched the cookie away and read it aloud.  
"Yee who cheats death shall face diversity. There, now will you shut up?" "Diversity? What kind of diversity? What IS diversity?" Duo launched his string of questions. "Take that as no, Yui." Wufei muttered. "Seriously, guys! What IS diversity?" "Diversity is the differences between different races, yet it also proves it doesn't matter what race, color, size or gender you are." Quatre replied. At 'gender' Duo looked at Wufei, who scoffed.  
Trowa flicked a cookie crumb at Duo, who flicked it at Heero. Heero flicked it Wufei, who flicked it at Duo. Duo flicked it Quatre, who flicked it at Trowa. "Is this a new game? The 'Flicking Cookie Crumbs' game?" Duo asked, as Trowa flicked it back at Quatre, who flicked it at Duo. "Or are we just bored?" "Bored." The four replied. ~Now~  
  
Wufei yawned and walked into the bathroom. He flicked the light on and looked into the mirror. What he saw almost made him faint. Instead, he screamed. "AHHHHHH! INJUSTICE!" But, what he expected was not what he got. A high-pitched, girly, and ear-splitting scream nearly shattered the mirror. "What's going..on?" Trowa's voice trailed off. "YOU'RE A GIRL!!" Duo laughed.  
Wufei glared. "WITH REALLY SHARP NAILS!!!" Duo screamed as he ran from Wufei, who had really sharp and pointed nails, almost like the katana he has, or used to have. "COME BACK HERE, MAXWELL!!" "That's something you don't see everyday." Heero said. "The chase or a female Wufei? Which one?" Quatre asked. "Wufei." ~Later~  
  
All that day, Wufei was in quite a bad mood. (Like he never is.) Duo kept teasing him and called him a 'weak onna'. Then, what else could make the day worse? A mission. They had formed a plan, and Wufei was the center. "NEVER!" Wufei screamed, hanging from the ceiling, HER nails dug into the ceiling. Somehow, the got her/him down and Duo had to push Wufei out the door, because Wufei swore he would never step out the door.  
"I can't believe I'm doing this." Wufei mumbled. He was supposed to literally FLIRT with TRIEZE KHUSHRENADA to get what they came looking for. This was probably the SICKEST thing Wufei might ever do in his/her life. It IS the SICKEST thing! "Why, hello there." Uh-oh. Not now! Wufei felt almost like throwing up. "What might a pretty thing like you be doing here? Trieze asked.  
"I was..uh, looking for Mr. Khushrenada." Wufei replied sickened by how feminine his voice sounded. "You've found him." "Uh, I uh, hehe, was wondering if you'd like some uh, cookies?" Wufei asked, pulling a tray of cookies out of nowhere. 'Where did these come from?' he asked himself. "Why, thank you. Did you make these yourself?" Trieze asked, moving closer to Wufei. In response, Wufei inched away, but Trieze inched more closely.  
"Uh, well not exactly." Wufei replied, taking a small leap away. They had moved across the whole room and to make it even MORE worse, (Like that's possible!) Wufei was cornered. He noticed that, to his discomfort, the only space between the two was a tiny incy weeny inch. "Cookie?" he squeaked. With in the smallest second, Trieze pressed his lips against Wufei's. (*faints*)  
Wufei's eye widened and he/she squirmed and kicked and fidgeted. 'I'M GONNA BE SICK! SICK! DO I HEAR MYSELF? S-I-C-K!' "Freeze!" came Duo's voice, followed by, "I always wanted to say that." Now, I, the author, think I'm gonna be sick. By the time Duo said freeze, Wufei had been dipped, (Ever been dancing?) and was literally screaming. "Uh, was that supposed to happen?" Duo asked. "Hn." "I think I'm gonna be sick." Quatre said, turning away. Trowa patted Quatre on the back.  
"Now, what where you saying?" Trieze asked, coming back up. Wufei put his hand over his mouth as he turned the grossest shade of green. Heero, sympathetically, handed Wufei a paper bag. (Heero?) With that done, the Gundam pilots escaped freely.  
~Next day~  
  
Wufei yawned. He/she noticed the evil fortune paper on his/her dresser. He/She also noticed the little envelope in the window. Reading, Wufei turned the same green shade as yesterday.  
  
~Dear My Love Wufei,  
  
I do not care if you are one of my enemies, the gundam pilots. I shall love you for all time without end and beyond. If I could just see you once again, I would be oh so in high spirits. Say you will see me again. It does not matter if you hate me. My love for you shall overrule any obstacles! Nothing will hold me back from seeing you again. Even if I have to climb to your window! I shall love you! I cannot stop thinking about you. If ever we were parted, I shall find you! No matter what the significance! Even death shall not keep me away from you! I LOVE YOU! Do you hear me? I shall tell the world!  
  
Yours truly,  
Trieze Khushrenada~  
  
(I cannot believe I just wrote that! YUCK!) "OoO!" Duo sang, from over Wufei's shoulder, "Wu and Trieze, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G first comes-AHH!" Wufei slashed Duo with his/her killer nails. "I'll shut up now." Duo whimpered and scampered out of the room. Wufei growled. Being an onna was like hell! WORSE! Wufei stomped down the stairs. "Nice outfit." Heero mumbled. "SHUT UP, YUI!" "No, seriously, nice outfit." Trowa joined in.  
Quatre bowed his head behind his coffee mug. "This isn't happening." He whispered. "Ah, but is!" Duo said. "WHAT!?" Wufei asked, "What is it?" "Like Heero and Trowa said. Nice outfit." Duo said. Wufei realized what they meant and screamed, running up the stairs. Quatre shoke his head, Heero smirked, Trowa sipped his coffee and Duo snickered. "If I kill one of you, don't be surprised." Wufei hissed, slouching into his/her seat, now not dressed in pjs, but cloths.  
"That was a nice outfit, though." Duo snickered. "Shut. Up." "Yes, ma'am." Heero smirked. Wufei growled. "I was only being polite." "Yeah, well shut up." "Yes, mommy." Duo said. "SHUT UP, ALREADY! WOULD YA!" "PMS." Trowa mumbled. Wufei glared. "So, women can contain their temper?" Trowa asked. "You all know what? Wu has a secret admirer!" Duo chimed. "Gee, we never know, Wufei." Heero smirked. "So, what's his name?" Trowa asked. "It's Trieze." Duo snickered.  
Quatre literally spit his coffee out on Trowa. "Who?" Heero, Trowa and Quatre asked. "Trieze." Duo repeated, sipping his orange juice calmly. "So," Heero started, "When's your date?" Wufei growled. "What about your ring?" Trowa asked. "Yeah, Wufei. We don't see a ring. Where is it?" Duo asked. "Or is he stalling?" Even Quatre joined in. Wufei turned red with anger. "SHUT YOUR MOUTHS BEFORE I CUT 'EM OFF! I AIN'T AFRAID EITHER!" *ring*  
"That must your date now." Trowa said. Duo jumped to the phone. "Hello? Yes. Hm-Hm. I see. Hm. Is that so? Right. Yes." Duo hung up. "Sales people." Wufei felt a sharp ping in his/her stomach. Later he/she went to the hospital. ~Hospital (*scary music*)~  
  
Wufei sat on the table and seemed to be boring holes in the doctor's back. The nurse was talking about all kinds of stuff, which had nothing to do with health. "Aha! I found out what's wrong with you. You're-(*doom music*)- pregnant." Wufei's eyes widened and he/she fainted. "Um, Ms. Wufei? Nurse, go find the doctor." "You are the doctor, sugar." "Oh. Well, get the paramedics." "Strike." "Other nurses?" "Strike." "Damn it." Meanwhile, Wufei had not only fainted, but he/she grabbed the doctor by the neck and hissed, "I'm WHAT?" "Pre-pre-preg-*cough*-nant." The doctor coughed, handing Wufei the small evil piece of paper, "Could you please let go?" Wufei dropped the doctor and stormed out the hospital. ~Back at the Mansion~  
  
"AHAHAHAHA!!!" Duo cried, running around flashing the paper in the Gboys' faces as Wufei furiously chased him. "And-and-*laugh*- hey! I wonder who the father is." All the Gboys stuffed their faces into the paper, looking for a name. "It's been white-outed! Dang it! That would have been hilarious, though."  
~That night~  
  
Wufei glared at the paper. Suddenly, his/her window busted open and a hand covered Wufei's mouth. "See?" Another hand flipped the paper over and pointed to a name on the paper. "AHHHH!!!!!!!!" Wufei bite the hand and ran out the room. ************************************************************  
  
DJ: I really shouldn't do this to Fei-chan. But, it's just so darn FUNNY! Here, my friends, is the EPILOGUE! Enjoy. *evil cackle* PS- Wufei still hasn't been turned back. *************************************************************  
  
~3 years later~  
  
A little brown pony tailed girl ran up to her mommy. "Mommy," the girl started. "Yes, Mi Fei?" Wufei asked. "I know this isn't a very good question. But, um first, are you in a good mood?" "Now, I am. Depends on your question." Mi Fei sweatdropped, "I knew you'd say that. Well, where is um, Daddy?" Wufei's eyes widened. "Do I even HAVE a daddy?" Mi Fei asked, her big blue eyes sparkling with curiosity.  
"Uh, Mi Fei. Why do you ask?" Wufei would have added, 'Again?', but didn't. "Well, because. There's this tall brown haired guy in my window saying, "Mi Fei! Mi Fei! It's me! Your daddy!" I mean it, Mommy! WE'RE BEING STALKED! WAHHHH!" Mi Fei plopped down on the floor, crying her little big heart out. "Trieze." Wufei hissed. "Trieze, you selfish, ignorant, thick headed, bastard!" "Who's Trieze, Mommy?" Wufei sweatdropped. This was going to be a long day. 


End file.
